Blog
The Swimming Gala of Life.
This week was the school swimming gala. Some of the kids were like little dolphins gracefully and powerfully making their way down the pool. Others made the most tremendous amount of effort, legs and arms flailing and fitfully made it, exhausted and panting, to the edge. Some were sitting on the side in their uniform not wanting to swim.
I was watching all this going on and started thinking about how I and my clients and pretty much everyone I know have lives like this. Some elements of our li…
I was watching all this going on and started thinking about how I and my clients and pretty much everyone I know have lives like this. Some elements of our li…
'I just need to sort out my thinking and it will be fine...' Yeah. Right.
I've been studying theories about managing and influencing the mind for over two decades. Psychology BA, public relations post grad, NLP to trainer level, Master of hypnosis, advanced Landmark, yoga and meditation teacher countless books and other courses...
All the way through these trainings I had one question that no one had a satisfactory answer to:
If we really experience everything through thought, why make changes in our life? Surely if there is anything we're not happy about, we just chan…
All the way through these trainings I had one question that no one had a satisfactory answer to:
If we really experience everything through thought, why make changes in our life? Surely if there is anything we're not happy about, we just chan…
Beyond 'wev' and 'sfs': the infinite creative potential.
I had a client recently who was telling me about his wife tightly managing everything in their lives - their finances, food, clothes, holidays... . He said 'she's so controlling about everything it makes me stressed and then I just want to just forget about it all and let her get on with it. Who cares anyway?'
I see this in myself and my clients all the time. There is something that it looks like it causes a problem and we either have to grit our teeth through the stress or we give up altogether.…
I see this in myself and my clients all the time. There is something that it looks like it causes a problem and we either have to grit our teeth through the stress or we give up altogether.…
No choice: delusion, illusion, inspiration
Do we have a choice about what we do? Do we have free will?
It seems to me that the answer is of course we do and obviously we don't.
Here's how I got to that helpful clarification
1. The delusion of no choice
As long as we believe that our thoughts accurately reflect the world and who we are, we have to take them seriously. There is nothing else. They are our our guide to life. They are who we are. They are how the world is. We have our feelings good or bad and we live our life to increase the…
The Pacts of Life
Seduce, persuade, condition, influence, convert, win over, entice, brainwash, force, intimidate, bully, goad, incite, indoctrinate, encourage, disappoint, motivate, tempt, enrage, inspire, trigger, press buttons, excite, frighten, reassure, convince, delight…
So many words to describe how something or someone can change a person's thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
We've all experienced this for ourselves and seen it in others. Devastation and fear at terrorist acts. An apple device in half of all …
So many words to describe how something or someone can change a person's thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
We've all experienced this for ourselves and seen it in others. Devastation and fear at terrorist acts. An apple device in half of all …
Never enough. Too much. Anything. This.
I have come to see that the most powerful realisation we can ever have is that we experience the world through our thoughts. It is a game of life changer of the hugest proportions.
This is what I have seen about the two inevitable outcomes when we believe the world has the power to make us feel good or bad.
And what I have seen happen when we realise it doesn't.
NEVER ENOUGH
If I believe that my life circumstances determine whether I feel good or worthy or safe or valuable or even simply OK then I w…
This is what I have seen about the two inevitable outcomes when we believe the world has the power to make us feel good or bad.
And what I have seen happen when we realise it doesn't.
NEVER ENOUGH
If I believe that my life circumstances determine whether I feel good or worthy or safe or valuable or even simply OK then I w…
Mental space: the final frontier
I've been seeing a few articles recently about the additional mental load that women tend to carry in relation to the household.
It has been described as 'the invisible load that drags women down'. Sociologist Susan Waltzer was one of the first people to document it twenty years ago in a paper entited 'Thinking about the baby' in which she pointed out how much more of the intellectual, mental and emotional work is done by women. In other words how much more they think about the running and manag…
It has been described as 'the invisible load that drags women down'. Sociologist Susan Waltzer was one of the first people to document it twenty years ago in a paper entited 'Thinking about the baby' in which she pointed out how much more of the intellectual, mental and emotional work is done by women. In other words how much more they think about the running and manag…
The Table
The coaching I do is based on the understanding that everything in our life is experienced through thought. In other words we are living 24/7 in a subjective world, a personal world created entirely through our minds. The world outside that looks so real is actually made up. It is a world of illusion.
And sometimes this looks like total nonsense.
Because of course there are things that exist independently of thought. Real things like furniture, trees, money, taxes, marriage, jobs, birth, death…. R…
And sometimes this looks like total nonsense.
Because of course there are things that exist independently of thought. Real things like furniture, trees, money, taxes, marriage, jobs, birth, death…. R…
Their fault. My fault. Default. (From victim to villain to vital).
I coach, write and speak in order to share what I have seen about our experience of life and how we can thrive. I do this because I spent decades looking for a way to feel better about myself and less anxious and I have stumbled on what I believe is the simplest truth about our lives and how we can thrive.
We have the gift of consciousness that brings our thoughts alive as though they are 100% real and equally allows us to realise they are just thoughts and not reality.
I notice in myself and in m…
We have the gift of consciousness that brings our thoughts alive as though they are 100% real and equally allows us to realise they are just thoughts and not reality.
I notice in myself and in m…
Strange fruit, chicken costumes, IT managers and the advantage of a principle
Anyone who has ever fed a baby in a high chair will have seen the testing of a principle in action.
Spoon. Bowl. Food. Toy. Cup.
All of it tested by being flung off the tray. All of it shown to respond reliably to some force that makes things move downwards 100% percent of the time. (There also seems to be a force that picks things up and puts them back although after a while that force makes some sort of sighing sound and everything gets taken away.)
So we learn at an early age about the principle…
Spoon. Bowl. Food. Toy. Cup.
All of it tested by being flung off the tray. All of it shown to respond reliably to some force that makes things move downwards 100% percent of the time. (There also seems to be a force that picks things up and puts them back although after a while that force makes some sort of sighing sound and everything gets taken away.)
So we learn at an early age about the principle…