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Look me in the eye
Look me in the eye.
That was what our Mum used to say when all the biscuits had been eaten and my sister and I, crumbs around our faces, would be looking off to the side in casual innocence.
And we wouldn’t be able to. Looking her in the eye would mean that it would be impossible to lie to her. Even if we could avoid confessing we knew that she would take one look into our eyes and know.
And that is what this blog is about. Looking ourself in the eye. Because why wouldn’t we? Why wouldn’t we want t…
That was what our Mum used to say when all the biscuits had been eaten and my sister and I, crumbs around our faces, would be looking off to the side in casual innocence.
And we wouldn’t be able to. Looking her in the eye would mean that it would be impossible to lie to her. Even if we could avoid confessing we knew that she would take one look into our eyes and know.
And that is what this blog is about. Looking ourself in the eye. Because why wouldn’t we? Why wouldn’t we want t…
No victims. No victim blaming. Just clarity.
A few people I know have been told recently by various institutions or counsellors that they are victims of abuse.
They have sought help because they are feeling scared and helpless. A well-meaning person, wanting to do the best for them provides a comforting label: victim.
‘You are ’ says the expert, ‘a victim. You are a victim of your violent spouse or controlling partner or bullying boss.’
Victim.
It is a label that conjures up a frightening world of our mistreatment, our vulnerability and other …
They have sought help because they are feeling scared and helpless. A well-meaning person, wanting to do the best for them provides a comforting label: victim.
‘You are ’ says the expert, ‘a victim. You are a victim of your violent spouse or controlling partner or bullying boss.’
Victim.
It is a label that conjures up a frightening world of our mistreatment, our vulnerability and other …
A new normal
What is your normal?
I remember the first one very clearly. Sitting on the grass of in the back garden of my house with my best friend from school. It was awful. Retchingly, wretchedly awful. That smoke hitting the throat, the coughing, the gasping for oxygen, the taste of ash. My lungs were loud and clear: ‘What the hell are you doing?’ they screamed. ‘Tar and smoke and tobacco and nicotine…? Seriously? What the hell…?’
I blocked out the physical protests and persevered with determination and com…
I remember the first one very clearly. Sitting on the grass of in the back garden of my house with my best friend from school. It was awful. Retchingly, wretchedly awful. That smoke hitting the throat, the coughing, the gasping for oxygen, the taste of ash. My lungs were loud and clear: ‘What the hell are you doing?’ they screamed. ‘Tar and smoke and tobacco and nicotine…? Seriously? What the hell…?’
I blocked out the physical protests and persevered with determination and com…
Yoga does a lot of things but it can’t make you happy, calm or relaxed
A friend and student in my yoga class arrived in the class really hassled. ‘God I’m so busy. I’m rushing from one thing to the next and I left the house an absolute tip.’ She did the class and went home.
I bumped into her the next morning. She said with wide eyes ‘Its amazing you know. When I left the house it looked such a mess. Then I did your yoga class and came home and everything looked completely different. The house looked really tidy and neat. It’s truly amazing.’ We both stood for a whi…
I bumped into her the next morning. She said with wide eyes ‘Its amazing you know. When I left the house it looked such a mess. Then I did your yoga class and came home and everything looked completely different. The house looked really tidy and neat. It’s truly amazing.’ We both stood for a whi…
If you knew that everything you wanted was made up, what would you want?
The music comes on and the three year olds start dancing. Jumping and twirling and laughing and bouncing and falling around. They can’t help it. Because music is playing.
As a coach from the inside out understanding I spend my time pointing my clients towards the fact that our reality is created moment by moment through the universal power of Thought.
The crazy thing is that the more we see that everything in our lives is made up, the more clarity and freedom we have to create, do and have anythin…
As a coach from the inside out understanding I spend my time pointing my clients towards the fact that our reality is created moment by moment through the universal power of Thought.
The crazy thing is that the more we see that everything in our lives is made up, the more clarity and freedom we have to create, do and have anythin…
The unbearable discomfort of the comfort zone
One of the obvious and inevitable outcomes of seeing more clearly that our experience is created by thought in the moment is that we become increasingly comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.
All of those thoughts that used to floor me before still come and go, I still feel them as intensely as ever, it's just that the legs have been kicked out from underneath them. I just can’t take them as seriously as I used to.
Angry at myself and everyone in my life, including all the people I haven't met ye…
All of those thoughts that used to floor me before still come and go, I still feel them as intensely as ever, it's just that the legs have been kicked out from underneath them. I just can’t take them as seriously as I used to.
Angry at myself and everyone in my life, including all the people I haven't met ye…
100% custody. 0% control. What...?
Imagine that you are driving and you bump another car. The other driver gets out of the car in full rage. You have no control over what this driver will do. She is a separate human being. She could do anything.
You also have no control over the thoughts that appear in your mind at that moment: ‘How dare she swear at me.’ ‘I need to get away from her.’ ‘She looks really upset, poor thing.’
Whichever thoughts seem real to you in that moment will give rise to your behaviour: You might swear back. You…
You also have no control over the thoughts that appear in your mind at that moment: ‘How dare she swear at me.’ ‘I need to get away from her.’ ‘She looks really upset, poor thing.’
Whichever thoughts seem real to you in that moment will give rise to your behaviour: You might swear back. You…
Road signs for the mind
Flow is an excellent thing.
Whether it is the flow of love. ideas, laughter, champagne, poetry, streams, products, good will, conversation, energy, money, oxygen, rivers, wildebeest, juices, writing, air, electricity, offers...
Or, for those of us who might be spending a good part of our summer holiday inching along the motorway, bumper to bumper... traffic.
Cars are not designed to be stationary. They can be of course. They can do that very well. They can sit idling or creeping at snail's pace. Bu…
Whether it is the flow of love. ideas, laughter, champagne, poetry, streams, products, good will, conversation, energy, money, oxygen, rivers, wildebeest, juices, writing, air, electricity, offers...
Or, for those of us who might be spending a good part of our summer holiday inching along the motorway, bumper to bumper... traffic.
Cars are not designed to be stationary. They can be of course. They can do that very well. They can sit idling or creeping at snail's pace. Bu…
The most sane I've ever been was when I was the most mad.
We needed IVF to have our children. For the second pregnancy, having tried every other conceivable (or, rather, not) option, we went to a controversial clinic in London (so controversial it had been investigated on BBC’s Panorama, not generally a good way to choose your medical advisor). The success rates of the clinic were astronomical probably due, as I was to find out, to the ferocious intensity of their treatment.
So there I was in London for 8 weeks having injections of concentrated hormone…
So there I was in London for 8 weeks having injections of concentrated hormone…
To thine own self be true - the best and worst advice you'll ever hear.
It's a famous quote from Hamlet. People have it tattooed on every conceivable part of their bodies (google images...). It's on instagram, pinterest, facebook posts everyday. It's stamped on planks of wood and hung on walls all over the world.
One website describes it as 'a grounding statement for those who get caught up in the needs and feelings of others'.
It can be taken as meaning 'Speak your mind. Stand up for what you believe. Say what you think. Act on what you are feeling. Don't get drawn …
One website describes it as 'a grounding statement for those who get caught up in the needs and feelings of others'.
It can be taken as meaning 'Speak your mind. Stand up for what you believe. Say what you think. Act on what you are feeling. Don't get drawn …
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