Blog

Innate well-being

The passive aggressive present

The passive-aggressive present. This was the title of a post on a chat forum that I read recently. The writer of the post said that a few days before her birthday, her ex-husband had dropped off a present. She opened it. Inside was a pair of slippers.

The woman saw her ex-husband as abusive and passive aggressive. Therefore, a present from him would take on those qualities. So they sat there on the table, the discarded wrapping, the cardboard box and the pair of slippers, traumatising her.

The har…

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The uncontainable lightness of being

I'm sitting here in a room listening to a recovered addict and someone who has contemplated suicide. They are filling the room with light.

Many of us fumble our way through the darkness and use the few seconds of a struck match to watch shadows turn into monsters. Michael Neill and Steve Chandler created their own torches to find their way through the caves. Their torches showed them what was always there and what had never been there.

They brought this knowledge up to the fresh air of the surface…

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Why we don't need to change anything ever (and the importance of not confusing star jumps with making love)

I had a long list of things to talk through with my coach Michael Neill. Why wasn't I more productive? Why wasn't I finishing some of the things I had started? Why wasn't I creating more programmes? Why wasn't I signing up more clients? I was looking forward to a call in which we analysed all the obstacles to what I wanted, developed some actions to achieve them, got set up with a plan.

Yeah. Right. Forget all that.

The call turned into the most beautiful exploration of how we know what to do, of …

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The 'there's nothing out there to change' leaders who are changing the world

What if there was not one single thing in any part of your life that you had to change in order for you to be OK?

Our habitual thinking says, ‘If only I had more X and less Y I would be happy’. But the truth is, and this may sound surprising, ridiculous even, our psychological well-being has nothing to do with anything outside us. Nothing.

Sometimes things seem like a disaster to us. Sometimes it seems we have a handle on them. Sometimes they matter to us. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they seem…

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The tantrum, the toast and the two gifts that change everything and nothing

When my daughter was about two, and it was time to leave the park, she had an enormous tantrum. She was wailing and crying and stamping her feet and flinging her arms around.  Then all of a sudden, in the midst of all that outrage, she caught sight of her hand and in her hand was a piece of toast. She abruptly stopped crying. Standing in composed silence, next to the swing, she calmly ate the toast. And when she had completely finished, she started, with the same intensity as before, tantrumming…

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'wisssssdom' or Wisdom?

A while ago, an idea popped into my head to do a public talk. Almost instantly, thoughts crowded in to rubbish it. They were soothing, matter of fact and as reassuring as the snake in the Jungle Book. 'What if no one comesssss, Clare? You could make a fool out of yoursssssself….’ And this all sounded very wise, very sensible. Let’s forget that crazy idea and stick with the wisssssdom that says stay safe.

Which do you listen to?

Do you listen to the familiar, ultra-reasonable, ‘this is how it is’ v…

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The hamster wheel of oblivion

A wasn't invited to the work social. 'How could they?' he fumed. 'No one ever bothers including me. There's a work drink next week and I'm not going to go. That will show them I don't need them.'

B had an idea for a programme she wanted to launch. 'No one is going to want to do it' she said 'It's probably too expensive for most people. Why would anyone want to come to me anyway? I'm going to shelve it.'

C hates driving because everyone on the road these days is so aggressive. 'Some idiot cut me up…

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The inside out multi-millionaires

Will seeing that we experience the world from the inside out make me a multi-millionaire?

This is a really interesting question because it takes us right into the heart of what we think we want for ourselves and what our wisdom wants for us and the relationship between the two. It is the question of how the formless meets the form.

And money is a good thing to look at because it is real and also not even slightly real.

The way I see it there are two stages that we go through:

Will this understanding…

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thanksthatsgreatallthatthoughtstuff BUT NOW CAN WE TALK ABOUT MY WEIGHT / MONEY / PARTNER / JOB PROBLEM...?

'Ah I get it! We create life through our thoughts. It's not going to help me lose this though is it?' (Grabs some belly fat). 'I mean this is reality... I'm not just thinking this!... If only!'

'Well I can see how it's true that some things are experienced through thought but the rent is due on Friday and I don't have the money. No amount of chat about thought is going to make that go away.'

'Yes I see what you are saying that it is all inside out. Now could you give me a strategy of what to do if…

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