Innate well-being

[Excerpt from HOME]

I was on a non-duality retreat and the teacher began by standing up and saying “There is no point in your being here……It doesn’t matter if you come to any of the talks. There is nothing whatsoever to be gained. You might as well be outside in the gardens or in your room.”

There is absolute honesty in this because it is true that there is nothing for the self identity or ego to be gained – ever. The ego which is essentially the search for Peace, freedom and joy is obscuring …

[Excerpt from 'It's not you... and it's not me']

This is not an internet quick fix.

It is not a way to secure the undying love and commitment of the person who we think will make everything OK.

It is not a way to never feel rejected, lonely, sad or isolated.

It is not a way to get them back or to change their minds.

It is an orientation of healing and expansion for the rest of our life.

It is meeting each moment of suffering in its fullness, of seeing what it reveals and how it points the …

[Excerpt from SANE, getting real with reality: 'Why bother then?']

And as we dig deep into what is actually true it becomes clear that nothing is objective. There is nothing that is independent or separate from the observer. Everything that looks real and fixed is only always 100% subjective. A function of observation. Nothing more and nothing less.

This means that the closest we can get to seeing what is true is the realisation that life or being is the only constant. There is a knowing of ex…

[Excerpt from 'It's not you... and it's not me']

Ultimately, of course, we want to live in harmony, in love and absolute connection with the people in our life. Of course we do.

We tried one way to get there and it didn’t work. It pushed people away. It created conflict. It tried to fix in place people who didn’t want us. It lied and sulked. It rode over our deepest values.

Now we know the route to what we really want. We know that these loving relationships are created within us. They emerge…

[Excerpt from 'It's not you... and it's not me']

Imagine we are an animal out in the wild. We hear a rustling in the long grasses that could be a predator. Ears prick up. Vision focuses and narrows. Sense of smell hones in. Our own movements get very very still. The whole physical, psychological and emotional system is focused on that danger. Everything is trained into discerning what it could be. The freeze itself is safety, creating minimum disturbance that could lead to our detection. It is …

[Excerpt from SANE, getting real with reality]

In a conference on building mega brands and mega businesses, years ago, my colleague Nicola Bird asked the only question that mattered: ‘How do we know when to stop? What is enough?’

The seminar leader couldn’t answer.

‘Enough’ was, for that leader, an unexplored concept. And this lack of enquiry, this assumption that the next thing is always, unfailingly necessary and better meant the underlying theme of the conference was actually ‘how to spend…

Subliminal Recordings

What are they?

Subliminal recordings are a consciously audible sound such as relaxing music, rain or waves playing over the top of a recording that is just below the conscious threshold of hearing.

How do they work?

First off, let’s distinguish between two categories of sounds - subliminal and supraliminal.

Subliminal refers to information that is below the level of conscious perception.

Supraliminal refers to information that is available for conscious perception eve…

[Excerpt from 'It's not you... and it's not me']

This is a book about the true gift that hurt represents. Let’s see how this can be the navigation for the rest of our lives.

Continue to settle back to reality

As we have seen, not living in reality is exhausting. It is deep on-going suffering. It is eternal struggle.

When we live in reality, not in projection, we are sane. We want to be sane. Above all, we want to be sane. This is the sole (soul?) purpose of our lives.

It means respon…

[Excerpt from 'It's not you... and it's not me']

In the taxi once on the way to a party I asked my fiancé at the time, ‘Is this outfit a bit too much do you think?’

It was a glitter dress. We were going to a pub.

‘Probably’ he said.

I didn’t talk to him for the rest of the night.

Yes. I know.

In the taxi I sure as hell didn’t want his actual opinion. I didn’t want what I had actually asked for.

The honest request would have been, ‘I’m feeling insecure about this outfit. Please say somethi…

[Excerpt from WELL, getting real with physical and mental health]

At the moment of writing this chapter, the on-line course ‘WELL: getting real with mental and physical health’ is underway. I have had emails this morning from four different people on the course all saying essentially the same thing:

‘Make the suffering stop. It is overwhelming. Take away the anguish. Make me feel better. I’ve tried everything. This is my last hope.’

Maybe we all know that desperation. It might not be sufferin…