Blog
Innate well-being
You are so much more and less important than you think
I need to tell you this.
You are far less important in this whole thing than you think.
You are also way more important than you could ever possibly imagine.
And the reasons why you are not important and and the reasons why you are vitally important mean life can be a hell of a lot easier than it is right now.
When I really saw the truth of these reasons, it was like an enormous back pack had been taken off my shoulders. I relaxed for the first time in years and in that relaxation my life transforme…
You are far less important in this whole thing than you think.
You are also way more important than you could ever possibly imagine.
And the reasons why you are not important and and the reasons why you are vitally important mean life can be a hell of a lot easier than it is right now.
When I really saw the truth of these reasons, it was like an enormous back pack had been taken off my shoulders. I relaxed for the first time in years and in that relaxation my life transforme…
The Breadcrumb Club
A few years ago, I found myself in a state of total overwhelm. My head was in chaos. I couldn't sleep or really eat. I couldn't pretend to be my normal self with friends so I avoided company. I was shaking, exhausted and low. I was looking into the future and all I saw were bleak, desolate choices which had nothing to do with the life I desired. I was looking at the past and seeing how things were not at all as I had thought they were. I felt I was living on quicksand. Everything - past, presen…
The Etch a Sketch and the Super Computer (or come from nothing and access everything)
Did anyone else have an etch a sketch when they were little? It was a box with a screen and two white dials. As you moved the dials you could draw lines on the screen that disappeared when you shook it. It was amazingly popular when I was little and weirdly despite the amazing array of electronic toys on offer, it still is popular today.
Andre Cassagnes the poetic French creator of Etch a Sketch wrote its instructions. "To erase," he advised, "move it back and forth, as when sifting sand."
I've be…
Andre Cassagnes the poetic French creator of Etch a Sketch wrote its instructions. "To erase," he advised, "move it back and forth, as when sifting sand."
I've be…
The everyday misunderstanding of being human
This week is mental health awareness week.
It’s a good week therefore to consider how we all have moments of misunderstanding that can cause us to believe either that there is something wrong with us or that there is something that we have to fix in the world to be OK.
It’s also a good week to consider how we all have the ability to see this misunderstanding more truthfully and in doing so realise the constancy of our mental well-being, our innate resilience and our access to our natural intellige…
It’s a good week therefore to consider how we all have moments of misunderstanding that can cause us to believe either that there is something wrong with us or that there is something that we have to fix in the world to be OK.
It’s also a good week to consider how we all have the ability to see this misunderstanding more truthfully and in doing so realise the constancy of our mental well-being, our innate resilience and our access to our natural intellige…
Replicator or convertor?
Which are you? A human photocopier or a device to change energy from one form into another? Let me explain...
I was on a writing workshop recently with the beyond amazing Steve Chandler and Michael Neill. During one part of the workshop we took it in turns to talk about the obstacles to our writing.
We all told our stories and the two world class coaches, in various lovingly dismissive ways, said ‘So?’.
And it struck me how unbelievably creative we all were being. From nothing, each of us was cons…
I was on a writing workshop recently with the beyond amazing Steve Chandler and Michael Neill. During one part of the workshop we took it in turns to talk about the obstacles to our writing.
We all told our stories and the two world class coaches, in various lovingly dismissive ways, said ‘So?’.
And it struck me how unbelievably creative we all were being. From nothing, each of us was cons…
The search for happiness (and other ways to ruin your life)
What if happiness was utterly, absolutely, unarguably irrelevant?
How can that be? Surely the whole point of life is to find what makes you happy and keep doing it? Isn't our purpose here on earth to enjoy being here on earth? Otherwise what...? Why...?
I totally bought into this. Clearly the point of life was to be happy. I read hundreds of books and watched thousands of ads that told me so, and told me how to be it. And if I wasn’t happy then obviously I had to change whatever it was that was ta…
How can that be? Surely the whole point of life is to find what makes you happy and keep doing it? Isn't our purpose here on earth to enjoy being here on earth? Otherwise what...? Why...?
I totally bought into this. Clearly the point of life was to be happy. I read hundreds of books and watched thousands of ads that told me so, and told me how to be it. And if I wasn’t happy then obviously I had to change whatever it was that was ta…
The passive aggressive present
The passive-aggressive present. This was the title of a post on a chat forum that I read recently. The writer of the post said that a few days before her birthday, her ex-husband had dropped off a present. She opened it. Inside was a pair of slippers.
The woman saw her ex-husband as abusive and passive aggressive. Therefore, a present from him would take on those qualities. So they sat there on the table, the discarded wrapping, the cardboard box and the pair of slippers, traumatising her.
The har…
The woman saw her ex-husband as abusive and passive aggressive. Therefore, a present from him would take on those qualities. So they sat there on the table, the discarded wrapping, the cardboard box and the pair of slippers, traumatising her.
The har…
The uncontainable lightness of being
I'm sitting here in a room listening to a recovered addict and someone who has contemplated suicide. They are filling the room with light.
Many of us fumble our way through the darkness and use the few seconds of a struck match to watch shadows turn into monsters. Michael Neill and Steve Chandler created their own torches to find their way through the caves. Their torches showed them what was always there and what had never been there.
They brought this knowledge up to the fresh air of the surface…
Many of us fumble our way through the darkness and use the few seconds of a struck match to watch shadows turn into monsters. Michael Neill and Steve Chandler created their own torches to find their way through the caves. Their torches showed them what was always there and what had never been there.
They brought this knowledge up to the fresh air of the surface…
Why we don't need to change anything ever (and the importance of not confusing star jumps with making love)
I had a long list of things to talk through with my coach Michael Neill. Why wasn't I more productive? Why wasn't I finishing some of the things I had started? Why wasn't I creating more programmes? Why wasn't I signing up more clients? I was looking forward to a call in which we analysed all the obstacles to what I wanted, developed some actions to achieve them, got set up with a plan.
Yeah. Right. Forget all that.
The call turned into the most beautiful exploration of how we know what to do, of …
Yeah. Right. Forget all that.
The call turned into the most beautiful exploration of how we know what to do, of …
The 'there's nothing out there to change' leaders who are changing the world
What if there was not one single thing in any part of your life that you had to change in order for you to be OK?
Our habitual thinking says, ‘If only I had more X and less Y I would be happy’. But the truth is, and this may sound surprising, ridiculous even, our psychological well-being has nothing to do with anything outside us. Nothing.
Sometimes things seem like a disaster to us. Sometimes it seems we have a handle on them. Sometimes they matter to us. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they seem…
Our habitual thinking says, ‘If only I had more X and less Y I would be happy’. But the truth is, and this may sound surprising, ridiculous even, our psychological well-being has nothing to do with anything outside us. Nothing.
Sometimes things seem like a disaster to us. Sometimes it seems we have a handle on them. Sometimes they matter to us. Sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they seem…