How to always make the right decision


Location: A bathroom in Marlborough, Wiltshire.

Eight year old daughter: “Mummy, shall I have my hair in a pony tail or plaits today?”

Mother: “I’m learning about how our feelings are the best guide to what we want to do.”

Daughter (sounding a bit flat): “I don’t really have any feelings about either.”

Mother: “Maybe it doesn't matter which you choose then?”

Daughter (suddenly full of excitement): “Well if it doesn’t MATTER then I’ll wear it in a ballet bun!!!”

Thus, the Ballet Bun Technique of Decisi…

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How to get anyone to fall in love with you



Qualifications for writing this blog:

45 years of researching ways that don't work.

9 months of researching the fool-proof way that works every time. Guaranteed. And not just with romantic partners - with offspring, friends, colleagues, family, clients, bosses...

First, the ways that don't work:
  • trying to become your idea of what they want
  • playing games, playing hard to get
  • giving yourself up to them
  • trying to get them to change
  • whining, crying, shouting, needling, begging, cajoling, tantrum…

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Why EVERYONE needs a Transformative Coach


I have just graduated as a Transformative Coach and I have been fascinated to hear one distinct message come through over and over again during the months of workshops, master classes, coaching sessions and pod calls:  EVERYONE has EVERYTHING they need to live their life to the full.

In other words...

EVERYONE has access to innate wisdom and well-being which is the foundation for the most joyful, creative and loving existence.

EVERYONE has the power of thought and the ability to use this power to c…

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What is true transformation?


What has the end of stress got to do with learning to play the violin?

What has learning to play the violin got to do with being able to read books that before seemed too hard?

What has reading three books a week got to do with having much much more fun?

What has having much more fun got to do with having more clients?

What has having more clients got to do with no longer worrying about being scared?

The answer is everything.

All of these changes and many more have come into my life since January. All…

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Coaching is dead. Long live coaching


When I started coaching I worked with something called the Wheel of Life. It has eight or so sections for each part of life - for example, family, career, finances, relationship, hobbies, contribution, friends, health and fitness. I would ask clients to give each section a mark between zero and ten according to how happy they were in each of the areas.

If any areas had a particularly low rating, I would ask the client what it would take for her to give that area of their life a ten. So for exampl…

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The coaching experience

drseussquoteOne of the things I love most about my job is hearing when my client transforms a part of their life which seemed absolutely stuck to them.

Every week I have messages from clients telling me that they are now doing things they never thought they would.

They are earning more, getting fit, winning awards, healing difficult relationships, becoming free of phobias, losing dependence on alcohol, talking in public, starting new businesses, moving to their dream house or job, going back to study...

When t…

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If nothing meant anything, what would you do?


This is the question that could finally send us all into the abyss. (Sorry about that.)

Or into a breath-taking world of genuine purpose, possibility and expansion. (Better...)

I've been wondering about it a lot recently. If nothing meant anything what would I do?

Because if we are really honest and clear, nothing in our lives has any meaning other than the one we give it and this can change from one moment to another, from one thought to the next.

Even (or perhaps especially) the words that seem so…

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The stress test - how to know you are in your full power

stressed-simpsonI have a wonderful new client who came to me with some goals that she wanted to work on through coaching. Not so unreasonable you might be thinking.

And a couple of months ago I would have jumped right into the goals with her, making sure they were SMART and all the rest of it, being there to encourage and spur her on.

But with the clarity I have now, I could see that there was a stress around the goals. She was making them mean something about her value and worth which created a pressure to achie…

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"Be yourself." "Well OK...but who am I?"

cartoon_character who am I

Authenticity is a big buzz word. "Be yourself" we keep getting told. And that would be great of course... if we knew who we are.

The more I coach people and the more I explore the nature of the self and reality and our understanding of ourselves, the clearer it is to me that if we think we know who we are then we are surely missing out.

It is the opposite of accepted wisdom (build yourself up, create your identity, stamp your personality on a meeting or the world) but in my experience the most dee…

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How to turn your life into a creative masterpiece


I've never thought of myself as creative. My four year old draws better than me. I got a fail in my needlework O'level. My cooking repertoire has reduced itself down to macaroni cheese.

And yet I am realising now, thanks to Michael Neill and the Super Coach Academy, that I am creating all the time.

We all are.

And when we really understand our creative power and know where it comes from we can use it to turn our life into a masterpiece.

Know that we are creating the whole time.

A stream of thoughts …

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