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What is really needed?
[Excerpt from 'It's not you... and it's not me']
In the midst of our suffering, we have a skewed view of what is really needed. And the greater the suffering, the more skewed the need and the more desperate we are to get it.
It looked like I needed the man to make me feel valid and worthy. The only way he could do that would have been by convincing me how much he cared about me, how special I was…
Because then I would feel OK. My self-esteem would be intact. My view of the weekend I had ju…
Beyond Belief
[excerpt from SANE, getting real with reality]
In ancient Rome and Greece ‘aimless wandering’ was considered a form of madness. The ‘treatment’ was stoning and beating.
In mid 1800s America, the label ‘Dysaesthesia Aethiopica’ indicated that black men and women were incapable of living in freedom. The ‘treatment’ was slavery.
In the 1850s and 60s when train travel was becoming possible, it was believed that the shaking motion injured the brain, sending travellers mad. The ‘treatment’ was to s…
The Shift
One of my favourite books is ‘Conversations on Non-Duality, 26 Awakenings’ in which teachers and authors describe their process of realisation. Each has their own unique experience of a mind and belief system shifting, falling away or aligning to a deeper truth of being.
I call this the Shift.
There is nothing more fascinating to explore because it is the only access to lived reality.
There is nothing more significant for humanity because it marks the end of the handed down trauma of hu…
The desire for change
‘I’m not OK.’ ‘This isn’t OK.’ ‘I have to change.’ ‘This has to change.’ ‘I can’t bear how I feel.’ ‘This experience is awful.’
Ever had any of those thoughts?
If so, you and me both, and perhaps seven billion others…
In the moment of that thought there is a deluge of evidence as to why that thought is justified.
And it seems very bleak and hopeless indeed. It seems this self has to somehow find the way to change itself or its state of mind or its experience or the world.
And that can’t…
Making a difference - the missing chapter in the leadership books
One of the aims that comes up often in our courses is the wish to make a difference…
To be someone
To have impact
To change the world
To be known
To leave a legacy
To make our way into the history books
We could take this at face value…
Most books and courses on productivity, influence, courage, knowledge, experience, effectiveness, impact, vision, charisma, leadership and focus do just that.
They dive straight into the ‘how…?’ without pausing to question in any way the model of reality…
Understanding choices and behaviour
[Excerpt from the book SANE]
Self-control. Will power. Determination. Commitment. Dedication. Restraint. Mind over matter.
All ways of describing the power that this apparent self of ours has or should have over what this body does or does not do.
It looks like this control is not just possible, but necessary for every aspect of life.
To succeed, we have to persevere.
To be happy, we have to banish negative feelings.
To be in good shape, we have to resist the bad food and do the exercise.
…10 ways to tell you are living your true purpose
The importance of our individual purpose here on earth has been identified since the beginning of human thought. It is referred to as 'dharma' in the ancient Indian text the Bhagavad Gita and today it is recognised in the most respected human development research as the key to motivation and fulfilment.
Don't worry if you don't know your purpose.
The very fact that you are reading this is a sign that you are open to discovering it and that it will become clear to you. The following points …
All delusions are equal but some are more equal than others
[Excerpt from SANE, getting real with reality]
There are beliefs that look right because they seem to be endorsed or everyone seems to concur with them.
But apparent ‘rightness’ means nothing more than temporary agreement. All beliefs will eventually dissolve in the face of new information.
It wasn’t so long ago that the earth was flat. Bad smells caused disease. Diamond was the hardest substance. It was physically impossible to fold a piece of paper more than seven times and for something he…
How does it happen?
For Byron Katie it was waking up on the floor of her residential care home watching a cockroach crawl over her foot.
For Jeff Foster it was the point of absolute despair ‘transform or commit suicide. There was no other option.’
For Roger Linden it was on a walk through Hamstead Heath in London ‘one second it was Roger - me - walking along the path, and the next moment it was as if something dissolved. And it took a fraction of a second and it was realised, ‘Oh there is no separate me’.
For Ru…
Confusion
[excerpt from FREE, Getting real with life, unlimited].
Sometimes we can seem so utterly confused that it looks like we have no idea of how to move forward. We don’t even know what to do let alone have the freedom to act on it.
A few years ago, I found myself in a state of total overwhelm. My head was in chaos. I couldn’t sleep or really eat. I couldn’t pretend to be my normal self with friends so I avoided company. I was shaking, exhausted and low. I was looking into the future and all I saw…