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[Excerpt from 'It's not you... and it's not me']

Finally…

finally…

…we get to meet the other person. Well, as close as possible as it is to meet them.

The perception of them still belongs to us, the perceiver.

But with less and less projection of the innermost needs and insecurities onto them, there is now nothing pushing them away.

With less and less meaning of who they are, there are no barriers between us.

With less and less depending on their responses and feelings about us, their wor…

I was on a first date a couple of years ago, a drink in a pub as it happens, and of course he asked the question ‘What do you do?’.

‘I run programmes that explore reality and that there is no objective self and other’, I said.

‘Isn’t that a bit woo-woo?’ he asked. (Which actually was an improvement on the ‘Right…’ and tumbleweed of other dates I have had.)

And I launched into a defence of this exploration. Which the grip of tension, offence and resentment in my body clearly showed was nothing…

I was at a non-duality retreat and asked a question about the brain.

‘There is no brain’ came the immediate reply. And, ultimately, we can’t argue with that. This is true. There is no objective reality of the brain. Just as there is no objective reality of anything. An entire reality held in perception. No self. No other. No brain.

But if we have concussion or dizziness or constant headaches, to tell ourselves ‘there is no brain’ and equally ‘there is no concussion or dizziness or headache’ se…

Subliminal Recordings

What are they?

Subliminal recordings are a consciously audible sound such as relaxing music, rain or waves playing over the top of a recording that is just below the conscious threshold of hearing.

How do they work?

First off, let’s distinguish between two categories of sounds - subliminal and supraliminal.

Subliminal refers to information that is below the level of conscious perception.

Supraliminal refers to information that is available for conscious perception eve…

[Excerpt from EASE, getting real with work]

My colleague was doing an MBA and one of his text books had a chapter on listening. He sent me the summary box from the chapter of the 20 things to do in order to become a better listener.

Things like:

‘make sure to maintain some eye contact but not so much as to intimidate’,

‘nod or make affirmative noises when the speaker pauses’

‘notice their body language and what it indicates about their emotional state’.

And so it went on.

All very sens…

What comes to mind when reading a book about no objective reality, no self, no identity, no ego, no separate other? An author telling us that everything is illusory?

Maybe you think:

‘Well, who the hell are you talking to then?’

‘Why write a book if there is no one to tell?’

It’s an interesting conundrum.

It becomes more and more obvious that the apparent reality of who we are and of everything else is illusory. Ultimately there is no one here. There is a transient idea of me and a transien…

How much would you need in the bank to erase all financial worries?

What income would you need to never again have a thought about homelessness or poverty?

What investments would protect you from the outside world?

What lottery win or bonus pay-out would secure the happiness of you and your family?

What amount of money would mean you never again worried about being swindled, conned or rejected or isolated?

What salary would ensure you felt successful, respected by other people, like you had…

My sister and I were in Costa one Sunday (we love a café). We were talking about holidays.

A memory came up of when we were in France in a swimming pool. I was waiting behind someone on the ladder to get out.

At the same time as I pulled myself up the ladder, the woman in front dipped down. Her foot went right down the top of my swimming costume.

In reality, it probably took less than a few seconds for her to extract her foot. In my memory it took so long that it is probably still there. My s…

In his fascinating book, ‘When the Body Says No’, Dr Gabor Maté says, “A therapist once said to me, “If you face the choice between feeling guilt and resentment, choose the guilt every time.” It is wisdom I have passed on to many others since. If a refusal saddles you with guilt, while consent leaves resentment in its wake, opt for the guilt. Resentment is soul suicide. Negative thinking allows us to gaze unflinchingly on our own behalf at what does not work.

That makes sense, doesn’t it? Resen…

[Excerpt from SANE]

Without an understanding of what the mind really is, mind management is just a playing out of confusion.

The self exists as a thought or belief or as a state of mind. It arises in that moment in whatever appearance it takes on. It doesn’t exist outside of that. The idea of who we are is whatever the mind is doing in that moment.

For the self to try to manage the mind creates a false separation and unfulfillable effort. Because self and mind are the same thing. A belief try…