mindfulness

[Excerpt from SANE]

A thirteen-year-old girl I was working with said ‘I get really sad sometimes. I worry that I might cry in my class. Can you take away the sadness?’

Take away the sadness.

Take away the fear and the worry.

Make me always happy.

That’s what she wants.

And pretty much all of us say the same.

Take away the anger.

Take away the low state.

Take away the feelings of overwhelm.

Take away the grief.

Take away the fear.

Take away the anxiety.

Take away the frustration.

Ta…

[Excerpt from Unachievable]

I’m writing a book. It’s going to be a bestseller. I keep picturing myself walking up to the podium to collect my awards. It’s so exciting. My family are all there, beaming up at me from the audience, so full of pride.

How’s the writing going?

Not very well to be honest. Nothing I write is measuring up to my dream. To be honest I’d be embarrassed for anyone to read it.

There are several questions that my clients hear over and over again from me.

One of them is: I…

In 1964, Abraham Maslow published a book called ‘Religions, values and peak-experiences’. 

It was his attempt to take these “rare, exciting, oceanic, deeply moving, exhilarating, elevating experiences that generate an advanced form of perceiving reality” out of the domain of the exclusively religious and into the realm of the universally human. 

That was his focus in 1964 when religion held a far greater prominence in Western Society. 

Now, almost 60 years later there is a different entanglem…

Getting REAL with the play of life [excerpt from GAME] 

This book is saying who you think you are is not real, that ‘self’ is only a made-up character in a made-up game. 

And it is saying that apparent reality is only ever a game resulting from the settings of that character. 

That is quite some statement to make. 

It sounds a bit insulting actually. A bit dismissive. Well actually seriously, rudely, uncaringly dismissive. 

Because we might, at this moment, be thinking of who we are, all th…

You know how when things get started and it’s amazing and it carries on and it is even more amazing and you’re thinking ‘keep going’ and then suddenly it stops and you’re a bit, ‘…???’

You know that?

That’s what we’re talking about today.

And we’re talking about it in relation to thought, free will and reality.

Ah. Sorry. 

If you’re still with me … here’s the thing:  once we get started looking into the nature of thought and what it means about who we are, we can’t stop until we go right on…

[Excerpt from SANE, getting real with reality]

The screenwriting expert Robert McKee, who has contributed to over 30 Oscar-winning films, talks of naive writers, who, knowing nothing about the category in which they are attempting to write, stumble blindly around in it, inadvertently trampling on the unspoken conventions that hold consistency and meaning for the viewer.

He compares them to the nervous writers, on the other hand, who are so scared of doing something wrong that they obey, withou…

[Excerpt from the book SANE]

Self-control. Will power. Determination. Commitment. Dedication. Restraint. Mind over matter.

All ways of describing the power that this apparent self of ours has or should have over what this body does or does not do.

It looks like this control is not just possible, but necessary for every aspect of life.

To succeed, we have to persevere.

To be happy, we have to banish negative feelings.

To be in good shape, we have to resist the bad food and do the exercise.

[Excerpt from SANE]

Without an understanding of what the mind really is, mind management is just a playing out of confusion.

The self exists as a thought or belief or as a state of mind. It arises in that moment in whatever appearance it takes on. It doesn’t exist outside of that. The idea of who we are is whatever the mind is doing in that moment.

For the self to try to manage the mind creates a false separation and unfulfillable effort. Because self and mind are the same thing. A belief try…

[Excerpt from SANE, Getting real with reality]

In insanity, pleasure is a release from the prison cell. It is temporary relief.

The greyhound is allowed to catch the rabbit before the chase is back on again.

The hamster wheel stops momentarily.

But it is a temporary fix and it is a fix that ultimately can make the prison harder to bear. Because we have experienced the relief of the end of the search.

The yoga class, the pills, the alcohol, the shopping hit, the love affair. All brilliant. T…

[Excerpt from 'It's not you... and it's not me']

In the midst of our suffering, we have a skewed view of what is really needed. And the greater the suffering, the more skewed the need and the more desperate we are to get it.

It looked like I needed the man to make me feel valid and worthy.  The only way he could do that would have been by convincing me how much he cared about me, how special I was…

Because then I would feel OK. My self-esteem would be intact. My view of the weekend I had ju…