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Denial and the 3Ps.
Have any of you Coaches ever had a client say anything like this....?
"Yes I can see how I'm creating my experience of life but those idiots really are ruining the country."
"I realise that when I'm doing other stuff I don't think about food but that's just denying the issue."
"I'd be fine if it was just my thinking but it's not - she actually is a bitch."
"If we don't think about the things that cause us stress we're just being a Pollyanna and ignoring the real world problems."
These comments resona…
How to do your tax return...
...Or the washing up. Or the hoovering. Or the house admin. Or the work presentation. Or the firing of someone. Or whatever it is that you really don't want to do.
Firstly, let's agree that these are not intrinsically awful or boring or scary or cruel.
Some people, for example, won't even bother reading this article because sorting out their tax is second nature. They may even have made a career out of doing it for other people.
Some people find doing the washing up is the most peaceful part of the…
I'm terrified. How awful / amazing / neutral.
On Monday evening, I'll be giving a talk on what I have learned about how people can easily start living the joyful, peaceful, creative and loving life they are designed to live.The simple fact that I am giving a talk is all the evidence I need of how this works.
For decades I had an abject fear of public speaking. Even the mention of a presentation at work made me feel sick and faint. I couldn't even ask a question in a meeting. I tried everything to get rid of that terrible anxiety: courses, de…
How to always make the right decision
Location: A bathroom in Marlborough, Wiltshire.
Eight year old daughter: “Mummy, shall I have my hair in a pony tail or plaits today?”
Mother: “I’m learning about how our feelings are the best guide to what we want to do.”
Daughter (sounding a bit flat): “I don’t really have any feelings about either.”
Mother: “Maybe it doesn't matter which you choose then?”
Daughter (suddenly full of excitement): “Well if it doesn’t MATTER then I’ll wear it in a ballet bun!!!”
Thus, the Ballet Bun Technique of Decisi…
How to get anyone to fall in love with you
Qualifications for writing this blog:
45 years of researching ways that don't work.
9 months of researching the fool-proof way that works every time. Guaranteed. And not just with romantic partners - with offspring, friends, colleagues, family, clients, bosses...
First, the ways that don't work:
- trying to become your idea of what they want
- playing games, playing hard to get
- giving yourself up to them
- trying to get them to change
- whining, crying, shouting, needling, begging, cajoling, tantrum…
Why EVERYONE needs a Transformative Coach
I have just graduated as a Transformative Coach and I have been fascinated to hear one distinct message come through over and over again during the months of workshops, master classes, coaching sessions and pod calls: EVERYONE has EVERYTHING they need to live their life to the full.
In other words...
EVERYONE has access to innate wisdom and well-being which is the foundation for the most joyful, creative and loving existence.
EVERYONE has the power of thought and the ability to use this power to c…
What is true transformation?
What has the end of stress got to do with learning to play the violin?
What has learning to play the violin got to do with being able to read books that before seemed too hard?
What has reading three books a week got to do with having much much more fun?
What has having much more fun got to do with having more clients?
What has having more clients got to do with no longer worrying about being scared?
The answer is everything.
All of these changes and many more have come into my life since January. All…
Coaching is dead. Long live coaching
When I started coaching I worked with something called the Wheel of Life. It has eight or so sections for each part of life - for example, family, career, finances, relationship, hobbies, contribution, friends, health and fitness. I would ask clients to give each section a mark between zero and ten according to how happy they were in each of the areas.
If any areas had a particularly low rating, I would ask the client what it would take for her to give that area of their life a ten. So for exampl…
The coaching experience
One of the things I love most about my job is hearing when my client transforms a part of their life which seemed absolutely stuck to them.Every week I have messages from clients telling me that they are now doing things they never thought they would.
They are earning more, getting fit, winning awards, healing difficult relationships, becoming free of phobias, losing dependence on alcohol, talking in public, starting new businesses, moving to their dream house or job, going back to study...
When t…
If nothing meant anything, what would you do?
This is the question that could finally send us all into the abyss. (Sorry about that.)
Or into a breath-taking world of genuine purpose, possibility and expansion. (Better...)
I've been wondering about it a lot recently. If nothing meant anything what would I do?
Because if we are really honest and clear, nothing in our lives has any meaning other than the one we give it and this can change from one moment to another, from one thought to the next.
Even (or perhaps especially) the words that seem so…
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