The love of our life

[Excerpt from It's not you... and it's not me]

This is not an internet quick fix. 

It is not a way to secure the undying love and commitment of the person who we think will make everything OK. 

It is not a way to never feel rejected, lonely, sad or isolated. 

It is not a way to get them back or to change their minds. 

It is an orientation of healing and expansion for the rest of our life. 

It is meeting each moment of suffering in its fullness, of seeing what it reveals and how it points the way to something that is far beyond the wavering changes of moment to moment experience. 

This is the end of us as we have always believed ourselves to be. 

It is the end of our stories, even the innermost, and the start of living in truth. 

It is the end of us as victim or as villain and the beginning of simply asking, peacefully, for what we really want. 

It is the end of every element of protection and defence, every place of refuge and the start of genuine intimacy. 

It will take courage. 

It demands a great deal to be still, to remain open when every inclination is to hide away or to stride out armour on, fists high. But those are the patterns of the child. Innocent and completely understandable.  And we are not that small child.

We are no longer helpless in front of the overwhelming, confused in front of the unfathomable, terrified in front of the unknown.  We are presence, intelligence and life itself. 

Thank you rejection. Thank you loss. Thank you hurt and pain. 

You burn through the layers to reveal unconditional love, holding the child gently in its arms, close in, safe now. 

Imperturbable peace in vulnerable form. 

Free to be rejected, to lose, to be hurt again and again. 

Free to continue to love and to heal. 

Complete and whole. 

This is the love of our life.